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Apparitions

by The Feverfew

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1.
It's snowing on a Monday as I am driving home and the guilt begins to creep up from the ones I've left alone And on this road their bodies still hang up in the air between the birch's branches where I last left them, there And palm prints on my window from her hands out in the cold Now four years have gone by here and I have gotten old [ chorus: ] And you said yourself that I'm falling towards the sun Like I disguise myself to make you forget I'm the one Like this was just a trap I built and you are just a game I won But I don't want to run I remember counting white beads as I sat in wooden pews where I laid down my confessions and I said a prayer for you 'Cause it's harder in December and it's harder in the cold and it's hard not to remember all the lies that we have told late at night Shifting shape under florescent light [ chorus ] The spray-paint said "salvation" but I knew you wanted more So I paint myself in blue light and I unlock all the doors Because the city is getting smaller and I don't know where to go and I spent my only dollar hoping maybe you would know [ chorus ]
2.
Selby 04:11
You pulled up, as if in a rush said, I'll give you a ride I saw you miss the bus I said, thanks, I'm looking to kill some time I'll take you to your house or we could see mine It's not very far and you'll like it just fine We could leave this world behind So I stayed an hour A day and then two Maybe you'll teach me the things that you know But it's getting cold I think we should go When the house was all boarded up We said goodbye and climbed in your red pick up truck and we drove off into the night And I counted all the street lights and you turned to me with a sigh and said I'm willing to give it a try We could be happy all over again Find a place to begin Then it's three months and we're still not there And I've gotten thinner and you've grown your hair We're looking for home, but I don't think it's here And if it's September, my birthday is near and you say there's nothing that I have to fear We'll get it somehow I just don't have it right now Locked up the room and returned the key and the manager waved to us uneasily and we drove off into the night And I counted all the street lights and you turned to me with a sigh and said I'm still willing to give it a try We could be happy in outer space where all of our demons will soon be erased In a small quiet town we'll start over again Find a place to begin But this road just goes on and on So I said, I'm sorry I'll miss you but I've stayed too long It's time for me to go home So you drop me off at the light and I walk off into the night find a quarter and pick up the phone
3.
By Now 03:57
You said you had nothing to say and it's bad but I like it that way Holding regret at my side Taking success without pride Just get in the car, I wanna go for a ride And you go so slow that I might know by now The letters all twisted and curled trapped in the hands of a girl who knows the words by heart So is this the end or the start should I give up and let us fall apart? It seems like a lot to lose And you go so slow that I might know by now Then you realize you're playing a game and the rules are all subject to change and winning is more than making her stay And you go so slow that I should know by now So I say "goodnight" under a broken streetlight
4.
At sunrise the seagulls all swarm around the steeple of the church that stands tall in the middle of town It's six on a Sunday and babies are crying their mothers caught lying awake in their beds saying, "Not yet, not yet. We could paint it white, under the disguise of infinite light" Now everyone's tired in this tiny town and resentment grows up from way deep underground while the faucets keep leaking and the floorboards keep creaking as we all lie and listen to the symphonic sounds that say, "You know what's happening later tonight so you savor the minutes you usually fight 'cause we all had a hand in this brilliant disease We all fed the cause of catastrophe" You don't know what you see when it stretches far enough away from me and it seems our love will have too soon expired the night the whole world caught on fire Now the dust settles down from the cold, cloudy air and the few men left standing just silently stare at the forests that glow with the forty foot flames and the ocean that's screaming the sound of your name So I pick up a shovel, the last thing to do and I dig a great hole and go in search of you You don't know what you see when it stretches far enough away from me and it seems our love will have too soon expired the night the whole world caught on fire You don't know what you see when it stretches far enough away from me and it seems our love will have too soon expired the night the whole world caught on fire It was the night the whole world caught on fire
5.
(instrumental)
6.
Descending 05:48
And now in the mirror I see the look on my face it's half disappointment and half disgrace "Don't worry about it it takes awhile," is what they all tell me with the same false smile It's okay now that I'm descending 'cause I've got plenty of time to numb the pain with chemicals ignore the reason for the rhyme It's hard on a girl/boy who's alone in her/his head and it's hard on a friend It's hard on the ones who love you and know you'd be better off dead
7.
Last Call 04:38
We have a small apartment above an off-track betting club and it's filled with angry losers and ripped up ticket stubs And the men all sit in plastic chairs or lean against the walls wondering if they'll make it to the bar before last call And they wander home at three a.m. to fall into their beds and think about the lives they lost somewhere inside their heads It's late and you're not here Somewhere in between the lines you've disappeared And now there's nothing left of you A tired ghost in hospital perfume The sky screaming in the dark setting off the car alarms So take it as a warning sign or maybe just for piece of mind When you're scratching at your scars I'll remember who you are Now the cigar smoke from an ugly man slowly ascends the stairs and it seeps into my pillowcase and it settles in my hair And I wake up feeling nauseous 'cause I know you are gone for good And I wish there was some way to tell you that I would help you if I could But I'm not the one with the golden claw I'm just another circus I live above a furnace and you're holding onto something worthless And now we're out of time wishing that I could have changed your mind And now there's nothing left of you A tired ghost in hospital perfume The sky screaming in the dark setting off the car alarms So take it as a warning sign or maybe just for piece of mind When you're scratching at your scars I'll remember who you are I'll remember who you are
8.
They come in the morning with brilliant parades and in every small town we're losing our names to the march of new children in five star brigades with ten tiny fingers to tear at my veins My words are not urgent My melody plain and all my epiphanies still sound the same It's a song, it's a story of your life and mine as hard as we try the words are still intertwined Somewhere on a rooftop two girls watch the sun fall down beneath buildings the day come undone And without much warning they both disappear and the sound of pianos is all you can hear And you're out there somewhere awaiting my call but we get weighed down by the noise of it all And the heart is a big place to get lost inside but i hope that you don't think i meant goodbye It's a song, it's a story of your life and mine and as hard as we try the words are still intertwined It's a love without pretense a card not yet sold but something about this just makes me feel old
9.
The Gift 05:06
I'm a camera and you're the sun I wake up early 'cause the whole world's come undone around us Thank god love found just two people in a big, big room I've got a quarter and I'm waiting for the moon to show me every lie they told you about me "Happy birthday" in a sad, sad song I try to tell you but it always takes so long When you hit your mark the arrow pierced straight through my heart where it got stuck in my chest and now there's blood that's falling all over your dress Days go by and I will follow I don't mind The night will fall the sun will come again And I can't stand the state I'm in Got a ticket and I think I'm gonna win tonight Yeah, I just might ask you to sing along You know the meter but you haven't heard the song yet It's your sure bet Three words and the gift of time Four months and we fall into this rhyme without a reason Maybe it's just the season When you hit your mark the arrow pierced straight through my heart where it got stuck in my chest and now there's blood that's falling all over your dress Days go by and I will follow I don't mind The night will fall the sun will come again An awkward gesture or a pantomime You take direction but refused to heed the signs If not forever, we've always got September and that's a start I put my quarter in your heart That was the best part A door opens and I see the sun I look at her and know that she's the only one I have no doubt Baby, take your camera out

about

"Apparitions" was the debut full-length LP by The Feverfew. It was originally released on Eyeball Records in November 2004.

credits

released November 16, 2004

This album was recorded by Ryan Ball and produced by David Debiak at the Electric Fence Recording Studio in Paramus, NJ. Mastered by Dan Goodwin at The Clubhouse in Rhinebeck, NY. 2004. Musicians include Andrew Bethany Spiers (guitar, vocals), Jonathan Linaberry (guitar, melodica, vocals), Josh Nichols (piano), Ryan Ball (bass, drums, guitar) and Dave Debiak (guitar). Cover artwork by Laura Bellmont.

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The Feverfew Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

The Feverfew has a sound born in the South and dragged up through the East, landed somewhere between a Brooklyn rooftop and the sea. With unassuming posture, Andrew Bethany Spiers makes an impact. Spiers' lyrics are formidably poetic and steep him as a promising talent in a tradition of literary musicians that includes Patti Smith, David Berman, Thurston Moore and David Byrne, to name a few. ... more

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